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Yesterday was a day of sadness, feeling the pain of loss and many memories:(  On the 28th September 2011 was the day I laid my eldest princess to rest.

 I cannot believe four years ago on the 4th September 2011, I awoke with a gut feeling that something was wrong but had no idea where it was coming from,  then the phone rang with very, very sad news that my eldest princess only aged 35years had sadly departed in her sleep leaving her two sons a sister and two nieces.  I was totally shocked and besides myself with grief.  This left a very big void in us all, a feeling of emptiness that somehow still feel like yesterday. 

Worst to come was having to see her lifeless body, desperately hoping I was still asleep and having a bad dream. It felt unreal to say the least.  Even worse after the paramedics was the black ambulance to take her away... That day still remain with me until this day.  

Never having to take the lead in sorting out a funeral opened my eyes, especially because it was my own child. She deserved a very good send off and that I gave her.   We will always love you my beautiful princess Charmain Michelle.  

You remain deep in my heart and mind.  Your smile, laughter, jokes, cooking, beautiful singing voice and all the beautiful memories that I hold dear to me. Never ever to be forgotten.  

They say time is the healer and things would become easier as time goes by, but I am not sure if that is true as we all react differently to death and the loss of loved ones.  As a mother you never ever think you would see the day that you have to bury your child no matter what age, always believing the reverse.  Yes we have no choice but to carry on because life is for living.

 If there was one thing I could ask for, that would be to have one more hug and to tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are.   Rest in peace my princess, now our guardian Angel.  

Memories never die.

In Loving memory of a beautiful soul  Charmain Michelle Bryan  10.08.1976 - 04.09.2011  

R.I.P my Angel xxxxxxx  <3

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